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Friday, August 14, 2009

Life According to the Urban Dictionary


You should not read this post while eating or drinking. You might want to also take a minute to visit the bathroom just in case you have a weak bladder. Smell the coffee Lisa has officially warned you and will not take responsibilty for any type of liquid shooting out of your nose, accidently peeing your pants and or you choking on your food.

By scrolling down and reading the below post, you are hereby consenting to the above warning and that you understand the risks you are taking by reading any further. You also agree to release Smell the coffee Lisa, from all future lawsuits of thus said and any other possible hazards that may occur to you while reading this post.

You've officially been warned.

Good Luck! Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times and enjoy the ride!

So Jennifer @ http://jennielynnsstory.blogspot.com/, otherwise know as Everyday *MIS* Adventures (Life with a Toddler) tagged me to do this fun little game. It's called Life According to the Urban Dictionary.

This is how you play:

Go to Urban Dictionary.com and type in your answers to each of these 10 questions into the search box. Then post the first definition it gives you, even if it doesn't match up!! This is TOO fun...

1) What is your name? Lisa Anne
Okay so already I want to pee my pants. Is this dictionary serious, because I think it's just a bit off, here's what it says about my name.

a beautiful blonde girl, from a small town, that enjoys life and loves her friends, she loves hanging out with mari, kaitie, ashlee, chelsie, and many more...
"ooh i wish i could be friends with lisa anne!"

I'm not blond, I may have "blond" moments (more frequently then I would like) but I'm so not blond. Who the hell is Mari, Kaitie, Ashlee and Chelsie. Are they like supposed to me my stripper buddies? No offense but look how the names are spelled.

2) Your Age? 31
I'm so sorry, but this is what it says. Yes It's just not right and so inappropriate.

turkish symbol for masturbation - 3 is the hand - 1 is the c***

Speechless, once again! I have to admit I don't get it, and wondering if I even want to know!

3)Your Best Friend? My Boyfriend, of course, who else would it be!
Now this one fits to a CAPITAL "T"

a great guy who make you feel good bout urself... a protector, and ur best friend
keep ur hands off my boyfriend, bitch! he's mine!

That's right ladies, back the F*** off my man. You do not want to mess with me. I'm will not hesitate to stick my foot right up you A**.

4) Your Profession? Senior Accountant
Ummm okay.....Speechless on this one...Who writes this stuff?

Person who comes to Las Vegas with a group of friends to feel important for a weekend. Usually this person is a no body that makes a lot of money but has lower than average self esteem. So they come to Las Vegas, buy a suite, tables at the clubs, hot hookers to hang out with them and show off to their friends that they are a Big Baller. He can pretend to be a high roller in essence.
Senior Accountant at a Fortune 500 company who gets treated like shit at work, comes to Vegas and becomes a Vegas Gangsters.

Yeah, first off, I'm a girl not a guy. So I don't see any hookers in my near future. Unless the BF wants to do a little dance for me. Secondly, I am a big baller/High Roller! I thought you knew. Champagne taste for me only.

5) Favorite Color? Black, I know it's not really a color, but whatever!!
I'm sorry, please forgive me, again just playing by the rules.

1.Darkness, a dark colour, the colour of this text is black. 2.A race - The black race can range from African american to polynesian.
1. I own a black car. 2. A black person stole my car.

I think the color of my blog text is currently blue, but when you look it up in the dictionary, they use black text. Hey I do own a black car, but it was never stolen. Who's to say the white man won't steal my car. False advertising here.

6) Favorite Vacation Spot? Cruise Ship to anywhere
Alrighty then!

A two-way motorboat. When two girls laying in the 69 positing each motorboat the other.
Dude, that lesbian film is awesome - there's even a cruise ship scene!

I was thinking more along the lines of relaxing all day by the pool, having food available 24/7 and when you head to your room at night finding cute animals folded out of your dirty laundry? Plus the free drink of the night is always good too. I don't even want to know why motorboat is highlight blue. Look I'm just following the games rules like I told you earlier. You don't believe me look the word up.

7) What month were you born? January
HAHAHA Oh yeah, now this one definitely hit the nail on the nose.

The best month of the year with February right behind.when the coolest/hottest people were born. Also the prettiest time of the year..snow & winter time. Who doesnt love January?
Person 1: Im glad its January Person 2: Hell yea my birthdays this month! Person 1: IKR?! mine too. Person 2: who doesnt love January? Person 1: only losers :p

Yup, That's right!! Need I say anything more? I think not!

8) Name of someone you love? I'd say my Boyfriend, but I already used him for ? 3. So MY SON, The BOY. DUH!
This is cute, yeah the BF gave him this nickname. It's funny he use to say BOY in a funky voice when he was little. He thought he was saying "oye" and would go around copying the BF by saying "Oye, Oye." It was cute, you had to be there.

Homer's main reference to Bart, even when speaking to Bart.
Boy, clean your room. It wasn't me, it was the boy.

Is this show still on? I think it is.

9) Where you are right now? Work, shhhhh I'm supposed to be working.
Hey it's lunchtime, plus I get breaks. It's the law. All I can say is sometimes, yes it is!

A place where people have to go everyday to get paid. Also known as "hell".
I don't want to go to work today!

Enough said!

10) Your nickname? I don't think I have one. So I'll go with Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
LOL, that's right. You better recognize!

1) Female parent 2) Used as a adjective for a female who is superior to someone; used by females to infer superior status over another, particularly a male.
Mommyyyy, can I go out and play? I'm your mommy, boy, respect this shit.

Yeah right, he'll listen to me when pigs fly. But that's what military school is for, right?

Here are some people I am tagging.

1) http://thatdesigngal.blogspot.com/

Have fun and keep it going.


Amy said...

So funny! I might just have to tag myself. Thanks for stopping by. I have panic attacks too! I have learned to just deal otherwise I will become a hermit. Which I could totally do if I let myself. I

MiMi said...

Oh my gosh. I did a post called "Am I Being Punk'd??" because I did the Urban Dictionary for my name and was SHOCKED, shocked I tell ya with what I found! It IS hilarious! :)
You have a very cute blog, isn't it wonderful when people give us awards?? Makes me feel like I'm doing something right. If only one thing, at least it's something!

Multiple personalities.. said...

Oh yea, I'm glad I emptied m bladder first, 'cause that was hilarious! I'm definitely gonna have to play this little game, it will just be too funny to see the results. :-) And BTW, I totally LOVE the new blog design! It's gorgeous!

Little Miss Baker said...

That little guy at the top is ADORABLE!! haha how cute!

Amy said...

This was pretty neat and funny. Have a great weekend.

Louise Forsyth said...

This is SO funny!!!! Thanks loads for sharing your HILARIOUS answers and making me laugh my a--e off!